Sock bombs relationships

So here’s what you think relationships looks like: Friends staring into each other’s eyes while telling stories from their latest holiday in some far away country. Photos of newly decorated homes radiating serenity and homeness and screenshots from the long-distance couple, who are declaring their endless love to each other 30000 miles apart.

Here’s what mine looks like: Photos of my cat. I may now call myself an official inhabitant of the man cave (a.k.a. I sleep in between guitars and well used gym bags with last month’s content) Screenshots usually consisting with many unanswered question marks and the occasional “Can you get me this from the store? ‘’

This morning I got woken up by frustrated grunts because 1. I gave him 20 cm less space in bed and now he had a crap night of sleep. 2. The cat purred. Though it is my day off I will be helpful and feed the cat to put an end to the despicable purring. Getting up I trip over sock bombs (rolled up  bombs *smell will hit when in contact* spread out in an unpredictable order over the floor) Trip over cat, feed cat, crawl back into bed and get welcomed back by more grunting and rolling himself up in the sheets “God, you’re always so loud!”. Sigh..#yaylife

Pink clouds evaporate and “No You hang up first” has made room for a lot of two blue ticks followed by “I’m busy”. Intimacy is an event that only occurs only when you are both not feeling tired (Next July) and scrolling through Netflix has replaced making an effort for date night. Like, how does everybody do it and get away with looking like they have it all under control? Half of the time I feel like I am failing something so logical to the rest of the world. I turn over to my bleeping phone, I open it up and one of my friends is going off at her boyfriend about this argument they had last night. For a second I can feel normal again.

It does always kind of come down to the battle of the sexes. Woman want all day (No exaggeration,. I mean All Day) attention if they could. Men want to be men and, that’s about it. We end up getting in each other’s way because men want to be left alone and do their thing. While most of us ladies want to feel special and romantic. Really, half of the little nitpick fights can be easily resolved by sending a few nice words every day. We will be thankful forever, and feel like you are the best thing to ever come across on this earth. No more nagging, we got what we need. End of world problems, I promise.

Ok I won’t pretend I’m perfect. I can translate 1 ignored text to 26 different scenarios in my head within 30 seconds. And even if you think you made an effort and pretended to clean up, I will sniff out that pair of dirty boxers in no time. Also, you won’t stop hearing about it for the next two weeks. Making an effort sinks down the list more and more. I pulled out that comfy pair of pj’s long time ago.

And while we’re trying to learn each other’s languages, half of it gets lost in translation and double blue ticks resulting in another night of silently lying back to back in bed. When all we want is to lay face to face, staring into each other’s eyes, like all the other couples claim to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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