Sober Bob flashing her undies.

Not drinking is no big deal to me. It’s been so long since I’ve had a drink that I’ve come become quite accustomed to going out amongst alcohol fueled crowd.

Lately, I’ve become almost too busy to go out. Let alone, do my hair properly. It’s always up, and my clothes are easy.  During my traineeship at the vet  I wear old manky stuff that’s ok to get peed on, for work I have to look a certain way which gives me the options: Black shirt #1 or black shirt #2. When I have to go to school I am usually so tired from getting up so early, I just wear what I can find on the floor in the dark.

You can imagine my enthusiasm when I found out I had a wedding to go to soon. Followed by a pang of panic as I found out I was having the every-girl-in-the-world-problem: Nothing to wear. I am not the girliest girl and don’t own a proper dress, my only ‘nice’ shoes are my € 10 h&m heels, which are ruined by mud and candle wax (Don’t ask).  I am made for jeans or shorts, the end. But God forbid that you wear those to a wedding, I found a little strapless pink dress in the end.

The wedding itself was ok, though the more weddings I attend, the more I find I probably won’t get married. Sure, it looks very romantic, but all just a little over the top, to me. Anyway I am not complaining about the parties afterwards. Crazy! Unlimited cola for me, yahoo! Before you know it the carefully picked out dress is covered in beer and your pretty hairstyle sweated out in a wild dance.

Blend in quite alright. I might even be a little crazier than most in the crowd as I am doing this sober and you are in a blur. You can do whatever you want, no one will remember tomorrow but you.

All of a sudden this Dutch song came on, translated as  “I feel sexy when I’m dancing”. Loved this tune and soon one of the guys came over for a dance. As the crowd parted a little I made a bit more of an effort. But seriously, dancing sexy while a crowd is watching, actually thinking about moves,..jeez. Couldn’t somebody have warned me? The guy, Rodney, gave me a twirl and stepped back while holding my hand. I thought it was a great idea to flick up my leg while stopping in this pose in order to spin back on the next beat. And I did spin back. Including my dress that got caught on my heal when I was doing so, resulting in pulling down my whole dress altogether.

I couldn’t have reacted more quickly while stumbling over my own dress that now had hole where my was still stuck. Rodney is a friend, and did what all friends do,..laugh his ass off. I got a hold of my dress and backed off, but there was too much laughing to continue the dance.

This also was my last attempt to ever wear a dress in public again.

So there are those moments where I can look back and cringe. Though I know Rodney remembers far too well, I know no one else will.